Friends, This commentary appears to be as painfully meaningful as when it was first posted on November 21, 2003. According to today's paper, we've stepped up the bombing in Afghanistan, so the name of Afghanistan should be included with Iraq.

We continue to long for peace, while spreading death and destruction from the air, usually with no photos to force us into facing the consequences of our superior might upon those below. May the restored balance of power in the House and Senate restore a balance of conscience to our nation, help us to create peace at home and abroad, and teach our children a different, better way of life.

re-visting: Thanksgiving – the laity’s day for priesthood    (Nov. 21, 2003)

“Going home!” Only two words, but they hold lifetimes of hope and love, hurt and forgiveness, laughter and tears.

Two words spoken in different ways: in the shouts of a college freshman rescued from terminal homesickness; in the pride of a young father’s voice as he announces plans to take the family to grandparents’ house; in the joy of an elderly couple to have been included in the plans of the younger generation.

Home can be a log cabin by a lake, or a penthouse overlooking New York’s Central Park, or a farm house surrounded by fields of winter wheat nestled under a comforter of snow.

By car or bus or train or plane, loved ones come to celebrate a feast like none other on the calendar. So free is it of commercialism, it is like a hermitage in which Americans take shelter against the approaching blizzard of blaring TV ads, reminding them of how many shopping days remain before Christmas.

What God’s people are seeking this Thanksgiving Day is genuine relationships, such as the ones Edward M. Howell, M.D., describes in his book, Connect. He says everyone possesses the capacity to connect with other people – parents, spouses, children, friends and colleagues.

Yet, he warns us: “Don’t confuse connection – feeling a part of something larger than yourself, feeling close to another person or group, feeling welcomed and understood – with contacts. Don’t confuse connecting with networking. Sure, every business person benefits from many contacts and a full Rolodex.”

He goes on to say that contacts, networking, can overrun our lives, and suffocate important growth, asserting that: “One deep connection to a person and one properly executed business strategy are worth much more than a bevy of contacts and a frenzy of networking and surfing.”

Over the years, I’ve come to the conclusion that fostering connectedness with others makes priests of everyone who cares sufficiently to love in the welcoming way of God, whether they be young or old; Christian or Hindu; rich, or poor; learned or illiterate.

Not easy, this priestliness. Means going out of ourselves, to meet others in rooms unfamiliar. Failure to do so can cause great hurt, where the only desire was to love. In Michael Ford’s biography of Henri J. M. Nouwen, Wounded Prophet, we find Nouwen’s relating this story of his return to his L’Arche Daybreak community in Toronto.

“Once I came home from a trip to the community house where I live, and I brought gifts home for everybody. One guy who was very direct said, ‘I don’t care for your gifts. I don’t need more gifts. You cover me with too many gifts. I don’t even have a place on the wall to put it.’ And I was very, very hurt – but suddenly I realized that he was touching me in the right place, in a very painful place ... that I’d used the gifts as a substitute for an intimacy with him that he really wanted. He opened up that place and I realized my handicap which was that I wasn’t always willing to enter into a relationship with people who asked me for it.”

Nouwen had seen the man often, possibly had sat across from him in the community dining room, but had he taken time to visit with him where he lived, in a room with walls covered with prints and photographs? Prints and photographs can’t talk, can’t listen., can’t hug, tell jokes, share a glass of wine, love.

Nouwen had brought home gifts, not himself. In his complaint, the man gave Nouwen a gift of appreciation for people’s real needs in the community, something he probably never forgot in his position as pastor to the flock at L’Arche.

On September 21, 1996, at the age of sixty-four, Nouwen died, and I imagine he might tell us from the Heavenly Thanksgiving Banquet Hall not to make his mistake, that before attending our Thanksgiving celebrations, we mentally, spiritually and emotionally prepare ourselves to don priestly robes of caring and understanding, forgiveness ( if needed), and the love that unlocks doors, possibly closed at many family events in the past..

You say you can’t give a priestly homily, not even a blessing of two sentences? Not to worry. You are the best homily of all. Sitting back to listen to Uncle Bob’s annual rendition of salmon fishing in Alaska may not appear as high virtue, but it may well be so. The same for playing Old Maid with the sand-box set, or washing dishes so that the hostess can relax with her guests. All show reverence for God’s people.

And we can’t have too much of that while we are dropping bombs on unsuspecting civilians in Iraq, promising peace and prosperity, 2,000 pounds of peace and prosperity.

Forgive us, Lord, we pray, and give us the wisdom and courage to change our swords into plowshares.

Happy Thanksgiving, and blessings to you and yours, dear priests of Christ, male and female, wherever you may be.

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