They say confession is good for the soul, so I might as well begin by owning up to the fact that I’ve been on vacation for a few hours. Cheap vacation.No taxi. No plane. No baggage. Just memories of good people far away, but certainly not forgotten, all mixed up with the living and the dead. A real Communion of Saints with whom I had walked a good deal of my faith journey in study groups.

The book made me do it, Mother Church, by Sally Cunneen, to be exact. Not quite right. It was a priest and his not-to-be-believed homily at a TV Mass last week on the subject of abortions, that sent me searching through book shelves for words I knew would cleanse my mind and heart of the turmoil created by the Man of God’s message to the people.

In the interest of truth in advertising, let me reveal that for years I’ve been convinced that no one but a woman should be invited to speak against abortion any time of the year or for motherhood on Mother’s Day. Last week’s homilist is a case in point.

Before a mixed congregation, he of the Law and Order persuasion, who looked young enough to be an altar boy, began by warning all the women before him that abortion is a mortal sin, and if a woman enters the confessional with four mortal sins on her soul, confesses them, but fails to confess an abortion, she leaves the confessional with five mortal sins, and the distinct possibility of a direct line to hell. The priest not only stated his dogmatic knowledge, without a hint of personal doubt as to the compassionate Lord’s concurrence, he set himself up as a veritable CPA, capable of moral bookkeeping for decades in the future for each and every woman who had so erred.

I would like to tell you that I stayed for the last sentence of the diatribe, but I bowed out before that, convinced the man (I cannot bring myself to give him the much-respected title of “father”) knew nothing about women or of the merciful, forgiving, all-knowing Christ.

Is abortion wrong? Of course. But only God can look upon an abortion with all its twists and turns, its emotional, physical, and mental dynamics, and pronounce with Infinite wisdom on the amount of guilt involved. It is love that moves a mother to plan and sacrifice, and to rejoice over the thought of a baby’s birth, even in the midst of understandable concern, hinged with a certain amount of fear. And there was nothing about love in that homily.

Sally Cunneen makes clear in her book that the Church is to be a mother if she expects women to be mothers. The Church as mother, the writer asked in a discussion group.“ Are you kidding? There are no women in positions of power; how can you call a Church like that a mother?” came an answer.

In an open discussion on the issue, Cunneen says a gentleman spoke up to defend the position that the Church has always been referred to as a mother “because she’s supported us by giving us the sacraments and preserving Christ’s teaching.” And I say, “Amen” to that.

The author goes on to explain that, though the image is feminine, it represents both men and women; feminine values and feminine virtues have always been essential in the church.

While it is one thing to be against abortion, it is quite another to be knowledgeable about the why and how to rear children to possess self-esteem, which gets translated into love within the family and beyond. For example, let us take a moment to listen to what Father Jim McManus, C.Ss.R., rector of St. Mary’s Centre of Spirituality in Perth, Scotland, has to say on the subject in his book, True Self-Esteem, Precious in the Eyes of God ( Liguori/Triumph Press, $14.95).

McManus points out such a homey example, we might well wonder why it isn’t preached from the pulpit at least a dozen times a year. He reminds us that:

Many of us carry views of ourselves that are wounded to some degree, though we do not always realize it. Often, these wounds begin in childhood. Children are enormously vulnerable, enormously dependent on the adults around them for their growth, and even their survival...They need to feel loved and protected, valued, whatever they may do, whatever may happen.

McManus goes on to remind us that small children have few people in their lives who matter, and whose judgments matter. “With less varied experience to pick and choose between, the younger the child, the fewer roles he or she plays, and the fewer people there are in his or her life who matter, and whose judgments matter.”

Therefore, it is imperative that the parents love and encourage their child from the youngest age to explore the world around him/her, unafraid that failure to succeed will result in withdrawn love.

The conclusion arises, then, if so much of the child’s well-being depends on the mother’s ability to love, it is incumbent upon the Church to treat women with great respect, and love, understanding their need to grow spiritually, as well as in other ways. Again, quoting Jack Shea, as I’ve done so often on this site, “It is people, always people, leading us to God.” Little people, big people; sick people, well people; rich or poor; highly educated, or high school drop-outs.

And everyone has the responsibility to mother someone, even the young priest who has a penchant for keeping track of mortal sins, which Jesus would tell him has nothing to do with love, or motherhood, or fatherhood.

Lord, help us to be kind and patient, understanding and compassionate, to show high regard for the preciousness of others in our lives, for McManus tells us:

A Spiritual View of Self

Our understanding of our self starts
when we catch a glimpse of ourselves
in someone else’s eyes.

Amen

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